Good morning. It is another beautiful day. You know, have you ever met a person like this?
They seem, for whatever reason, to go from crisis to crisis to crisis. And somehow, their life, their life just never gets better. And perhaps they’re a close friend, an intimate friend.
You love them, you deeply care for them, but any bit of council or conversation, it doesn’t seem to affect anything at all. Why not? This is a topic, I think, that sticks with all of us, and this is the concept of self-sabotage.
I actually destroy my potential before I begin. Or even worse, I begin and I have some minor success, maybe even major success, and then eventually, once again, I stumble and fail totally. So, what am I to do with this concept?
Difficult, isn’t it?
Many pundits say that at the very beginning, the very beginning, I must practice a form of self-love. I must learn that there truly is no one like me. There never has been, and there never will be.
And of course, I say this a lot, and it sounds like the pitch, as one of my friends calls it, but it is true. It is true. I have to have some realization that I have a job to do in this life.
And then, having assessed my talents, I can say to myself, no matter what happens, no matter how many times I fall down, that I am a winner. There is no one like me. And subsequently, I am a winner.
I will succeed. And then, of course, I do need a plan.
Wow, that’s a scary thought, isn’t it? When I’m 20 or 22 years old, I have no idea what my life plan, quote-unquote, should be.
But that’s okay, truly it is, because given that you have a notebook, always talk about the notebook, sorry, given that you have a notebook, begin to write to yourself and become observant in all of this.
Look out for the bugs, the bees, the other people, the social interactions. Calm yourself. Now, some of us, and I have experienced this myself, some of us have an inner anger, whatever that is.
I’m angry at being me, and I’m angry at being alive. I’m angry at being me.
I was watching a very troubling program the other day on people that contemplate suicide, legal suicide, as you can do it in Canada and other jurisdictions, and perhaps people that just want to commit suicide, period.
And the biggest thrust to all of this, the biggest concern was they didn’t feel worthy to be alive in many cases. And yes, a lot of people have medical issues, as we all do, as you age, you’ll have your own, I’m sure. I have mine.
What do you want out of your life? The average person will say, I want to be happy, of course.
But they confuse Aristotle’s message of happiness in a certain sense of the word, because Aristotle would agree that life should be happy, but he believed it was a mission, if you will, that I’m going to slowly but surely build happiness along the
way. It’s an earned phenomenon. So, in your mission, you realize that, gosh, I gotta put in the time, right? And you will stumble, and you will fall down.
Now, there is a phase in this self-sabotage, if you will, called trauma. And this is really the division between the people that will lead successful lives and those that will ultimately fail. When you experience trauma, it could be a loss of a love.
The great love of your life has walked away and met someone else. It could be something financial. You failed at some business venture and lost all your money.
It could be perhaps you’ve had a medical condition at one point. Either way, you have to say to yourself that there will be another day. Given that I continue to survive in this consciousness, there will be another day.
It will get better. So I think a big factor in self-sabotage is the realization of the so-called serenity point. At some point, I will come to a time that I am at peace, and fully contented.
Then going on from this, I will then realize that I can then go back to my work, my plan.
And this will not be easy, will it? I have a friend, we’ve been friends a very long time. And for whatever reason, she just cannot seem to get up.
She gets a job, loses the job. She gets a relationship, and she, of course, inevitably loses the relationship. It fails.
And the problem here is just that she lacks self-worth, as we discussed in the very beginning, right? So we must find a way to build self-worth. So how do I do this?
Well, after the talk, as we’ve alluded to earlier, then I’m going to, on a daily basis, look for my small successes, my small wins. And I’m going to feel capable of winning, right?
Because I think this is also a learned phenomenon, to feel like a winner, right? I need to practice, because many times these people have just a successive amount of losses, right?
So obviously, you would not feel like a winner, if you will, if every day you’re losing something, right? So you have to remind yourself of those small wins.
And then with those small wins, remind yourself that I’ve got a mission here, I’ve got something to accomplish.
So in the end, if you’re going to stop self-sabotage, remind yourself you’re a unique being, get to work on you, find your mission in your notebook, and reward yourself on a daily basis. And I guess the ultimate question is, why not? Why not?
Because all of us, for the most part, are independent beings. We’re fairly intelligent, most of us, 10% are foolish, 5% are brilliant. The rest are just like you and me, right?
Going through our own frustrations and our struggles. But remember the light, the serenity point. You’re going to get through all this.
You’re going to be successful. You will. Don’t give up.
Don’t give up on life, ultimately. That’s the point. If you really want to stop self-sabotage, believe in yourself.
And why not, like I just said, right? So think about this. You’re important.
The world needs you. Don’t forget this. The world needs you to contribute to the greater good, right?
You’re special. You’re special, not in a vain sense, but in a sense that you are a necessary being. You really are.
And you know what they say. You know what they say. Critical thinking is everything, especially if you’re going to overcome this concept of self-sabotage.
Reflect on this. Many people suffer from it. They really do.
And critical thinking is great. Truly great. You take care.
God bless. Bye bye.